How to Love a Friend and Say Goodbye

Our house sold a couple of weeks ago and then a week later we bought a home 300 miles away. School starts back in 3 weeks. The school and moving details are making my brain become Grand Central Station for realtors, inspectors, lesson plans, curriculum purchases, movers, and contractors. There are days when I look forward to the challenge and opportunities that await us in San Antonio but July 26 was not one of them. On this day, I felt the weight of our move pressing me into despair and I couldn’t shake it off. All I could do was pray and wait.

My boys and I went to “Swim and Gab” at my friend’s house, mid-morning on the 26th. Several people I love were there. Seeing them all at once cracked the dam holding back my frenzy. My friend asked how I was doing. Slow steady tears rolled down my face and we just sat there for a few moments. She was comfortable with my tears, not happy about them, but she didn’t feel the need to fix my pain. She sat quietly and allowed me to talk even though I was jumping from one idea to the next like a rock skipping through a lake. This video is the metaphor I used to explained my feelings that morning.

Do you see the metaphor for how I felt?

I felt like the dead carcass being consumed by the ants. Yes, that is exactly how I described myself that morn

ing, but the story doesn’t end so grimly. You see sharing my feelings isn’t the easiest thing in the world for me to do. When someone tells me how I ought to feel differently or how I can change things so I won’t feel so badly or that I’m making no sense at all, I shy away from being vulnerable but there’s no life to be found when I hide in the shadows.

Sharing with others doesn’t fix the problem or make it go away but there is great comfort found in community. I can’t explain how I began to feel  better on that Tuesday morning any more than I can explain how I became so overwhelmed. What I am sure of is that God uses his community for his glory and sharing is a central theme in giving and receiving comfort.

How has sharing changed your life?

Do you find it difficult to share yourself? Why?


Share YOUR story with me.

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Want Help Starting Your Book Club? Read This Post.


  1. I bottle things up, so sharing is really good for releasing that tension. It's not hard for me to share; actually, sometimes I share too much! It is difficult for me to find trusting people to share with. Fellow Christians, sadly, have often been the most hurtful. So many times I heard, "Pray about it," with the unspoken implication that doing so would make my pain go away. I just needed someone to listen without judgment, not tell me to do something I was already doing. I believe God intended His community to be that way, but I still haven't found someone I can count on for that.

    • It is a rare and beautiful gift when we find a friend like this.A person has to know her own weakness and need for God, I think, before she can love with gentleness and compassion. When I forget all that God has done for me and begin to rely upon myself, I can give quick churchie answers. I hate it when it happens. I want to remember all that Christ has done for me and hopeless I am apart from him. This makes me a good lover of his people.

      I lived here quite a long time before finding a friend like this. We're moving away next month and I keep wondering if I'll find a close friend there. I hope the Lord blesses you with one real soon.

  2. I completely understand Mrs. Dent! Many times through life when I go through hard things, it is good to have a friend to share them with. It always encourages me to know that someone knows what's going on and can pray with me. So I want you to know that I will be praying for you always no matter where the Lord brings you!

    All my love,


  3. So glad to hear you sold your house, Ali! I feel your pain and am praying the move and getting settled go smoothly for all involved. Give Matti, Jon, and all our precious grandbabies a big hug for me when you get to San Antonio!

  4. This post makes ME cry!

    I think I shall go drink some red currant wine and blame it on you. 🙂


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